Am i ready to take ielts?

Hello, everybody!
I need your help.
As for Reading and Listening, I feel quite confident, making some occasional mistakes.
I feel so confused about writing an essay. Will you comment on mine?

Some people claim that not enough of the waste from homes is recycled. They say that the only way to increase recycling is for governments to make it a legal requirement
To what extent do you think laws are needed to make people recycle more of their waste?

The problem of waste recyclement is one of the most pressing issues in the modern world. Some people claim that special legislation system should be introduced to monitor this process. Others support the opinion that it is up to people to decide what to do with their litter.
Personally, I think that people should be given an opportunity to decide themselves how to deal with rubbish. Firstly, in some countries, for example, in Russia, the rubbish is not sorted out into different containers. One should make a considerable effort to find special bins for plastic and glass litter.
Another important problem is that some people do not approve of using the same glass or plastic bottles several times. They consider this non-hygienic and have a right to hold to this opinion.
The opponents of this point of view admit that those who do not want to recycle rubbish bring harm to the environment, and therefore should be fined. They insist that educational programs are not enough to create environmental consciousness in public. One can object that punishment will never serve as the best tool to change the people`s way of thinking.
In conclusion, I would like to state that though the problem of waste recyclement is vitally important, there should not be any restriction policy. On the contrary, the governments ought to concentrate on embarking special educational programs, especially at schools and universities.
По поводу структуры не поняла, такое ощущение что здесь пять параграфов, но в третьем например только два предложения? Попробуйте отделять параграфы пустой строкой. Я бы еще связок добавила, ну там Moreover, Furthermore. Удачи с подготовкой!